Imperfectly Perfect

Imperfectly perfect1

 Did You Ever

Me. You. We.

Did you ever say yes when you wanted to say no or vice versa?

Did you ever feel you let someone down just by being yourself?

Did you ever cry yourself to sleep because you didn’t feel like you were enough?

Did you ever feel wounded because you trusted a word, a thought, a deed, and that trust was violated?

I think our trust is often violated by worldly ego. When that trust is violated it kind of feels like a rape of the soul. And rape, my God, I have been its victim. I have felt the brutal power of it. A violation perpetrated by a trusted employer over an employee. I was doing what I always did at the end of every workday counting the money from my shift back in the office. He walked in and said a few words. I heard the door shut, the click of the lock,  I stood up and felt the force of being pushed back off my feet as my head hit the floor. It was a violation that wound its tendrils around my being with such anguish and powerlessness.

Did you ever feel worthless?

Did you ever hide from yourself and others behind a mask that all is well or what would someone think if they knew these worldly truths about you?

Through time, through the everlasting love of God, I began to heal and those did you ever began to glisten like gems that would someday be placed in a crown of glory. I am daily learning what perfect truth is. We are God-ordained perfect spirit housed in a container driven by worldly ego. In other words, we are all imperfectly perfect.

Through the unconditional love of God, his son Jesus, and the love and honor of my dear husband I was able to start clearing the rubbish. The interesting outcome is I have been called to write Did You Ever, Soul Whispers: The Awakening of a Sleepwalker, Imperfectly Perfect, and so forth. There was a point that I tried not to write about those things and God. It was like I don’t want to do this. Let me write a novel. It didn’t work. The flow was dammed up so I surrendered to be a vessel for God’s purpose. I, a handmaiden, capture words and thoughts on paper and just maybe they will make a difference. That is not up to me. I do know I experience many blessings and healing through what has now become a joyful journey.

Did you ever?

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